Fun and Games with Transcription and Closed Captioning

I really like both my voicemail transcription service and closed captioning (and subtitles) for a number of reasons. But the errors are sometimes quite … amusing, shall we say. Mistakes are in bold and correction in parentheses. Comments in italics.

Hi Debra it is Mona with confusion … (Infusion)

Hi Debra it is Mom with infusion … (Mona)

Put those first two together and that’s our relationship the last couple years of her life.

Hello this is Boss Kane mental health … (Bosque – pronounced boss-kay)

So, security answer = Rosebud?

Hi Debra this is Naomi calling from project with office … (Pacheco’s)

Ok, so my transcription AI is maybe just a little bit racist?

Andrew seven digit call back code is 347-15 to 6 Inc. you goodbye (And your) (3471526) (Thank you)

This took more brain power to work out than I care to admit!

… can connect you to a trained and Roman specialist who can help find a plan that your knees… (enrollment) (that fits your needs)

That last one may be my favorite so far. It is quite possible my knees do, in fact, require a “trained and Roman” specialist!

Stephen Colbert show captioning on YouTube app: “You’re all sharing the same spats and the same air” (space)

Trevor Noah show captioning on YouTube app: “We’re a mosque” (Wear a mask.) Really?!

Amber Ruffin show captioning on Peacock app: “… but because of KROOIFRSZ I’m not allowed to have an audience” (coronavirus) Seriously!?!

Seriously! I paused and took a screenshot to be sure to get the spelling right. Ms. Ruffin did not slur that word — no how, no way. No way, no how.

Young panda cub lies belly down on table , looking at camera/viewer
I did not keep that Amber Ruffin captioning screenshot, because I need to save space for important mental health supporting images such as the panda cub cuteness, provided courtesy of the Smithsonian National Zoo!
Young panda cub, lying belly down on table, seen from the back. See soles of hind paws and round, fluffy butt.
The end!

Tales from the Infusion Clinic

Here is where I shall occasionally draw back the curtain and let you in on the best snippets of gossip and whatnot heard during my monthly visit to the Infusion Clinic, during which I spend the afternoon in a gray lay-z-boy enjoying a bag of drugs with other gray-recliner-ensconced “stuck-up” types.

22 July 2020

Sad to say, but for the first time in nearly 1.5 years of regular visits to the clinic, I overheard stereotyping and intolerance. Although the subjects weren’t called out by subspecies, the grouping by color made the racism impossible to ignore. We just don’t have many varieties of hummingbird in New Mexico!

⚠️ Warning: What follows is an example of ornithological racism*…

“Those orange hummingbirds are jerks! Who knew? Bright yellow and orange. The plain ones are nice – with green wings – but those orange-red ones are always fighting over the feeders.”

Yes, dear readers, male rufous hummers are flashy golden, orange, red and can be quite territorial. I am a birdwatcher and lover of hummingbirds and I can assure you that all of those little hovering wonders are jerks. Generally the males tend to be more aggressive dillweeds than the females, but the womenfolk can lay down just as well as the men if they want. And in the midst of summer round here, they often do want. Yup, even the unassuming female black-chinned, described above as plain with green wings.

Dearie, you are not a hummingbird! Photo description: Male ladderback woodpecker hangs precariously from red base of hummingbird feeder.

*aka Bird Bias. Not to be confused with Big Bird Bias, which is absolutely fine between consenting adults — not for me to judge. Though I will say, yellow is not my color. Especially unclothed. Holy frijoles, I’m pale!

I’m a woman of contradictions. I adore yellow/golden flowers, fish, birds, etc. Photo description: Wealth of sunflowers surround a wooden post with a partially obscured house number and a light fixture.