ROOgele Recipe

Makes one unique, very sweet* and exuberant puppy dog!

Ingredients:

  • 36% Australian Cattle Dog
  • 13% German Shepherd
  • 11% German Shorthaired Pointer
  • 9% American Pit Bull Terrier
  • 6% Golden Retriever
  • 5% Australian Shepherd
  • 4% Rottweiler
  • 3% American Staffordshire Terrier
  • 3% Siberian Husky
  • 3% Chow Chow
  • 2% Labrador Retriever
  • 2% American Eskimo Dog
  • 2% Chihuahua
  • 1% Dalmatian

Mix and match the 14 breeds above to exact specifications, somehow, someway, over who knows how many generations. Abandon black pup with white bib at approximately 7 weeks of age. Season liberally with ticks. House at Albuququerque Westside shelter. Add parasitic infection for extra early hardship.

At 8 weeks Rood Boy will look like an Australian shepherd mix of twice his age.** In a good home with proper nutrition, exercise, a plethora of toys, and a pughuahua playmate, he will grow exponentially and start looking like a … ? Um … I mean, maybe … By 5 months RooPert will have acquired various nicknames and will resemble a German shepherd crossed with a pointer in a fur tuxedo. With an extra long, white-tipped tail.

At very nearly 7 months, más o menos,^ Scooby-Roo won’t be fully cooked yet, but teething promises to be a thing of the past (Hallelujah!) and his growth rate will have slowed considerably. DNA test results from WisdomPanel.com will prove what a truly mixed blessing is Sir Roo Longtail! Endowed with a rich, deep bark and a comic falsetto, he will continue to develop into an excellent watchdog, despite (in tandem with? because of?) his devotion to playtime. His goofy demeanor may belie his intelligence: He will teach himself to fetch the newspaper and to open the back door via the lever handle. At times he will move with the grace of a fox. Other times … not so much.

At one year of age, Roo will have matured^^ into a long-legged, active, handsome, log-loving cuddle-monster exhibiting several shepherding, retrieving, and guarding instincts. He will stretch as a dancer and stand at the kitchen counter as if a human kid ready to help with the dishes. (If only!) He will be absolutely obsessed with his toy squirrels, which he will toss, catch, retrieve until a human cries, “No more!” He will relate to the high-def TV as an interactive device.

The Yearling by DÅL|é

*Sweet in a loving sense. Do not eat! He will protect you! If you haven’t gone vegan amidst the zombie apocalypse, your doom is imminent!

**Truth by teeth be told!

^More or less. Approximately. Thereabouts. Close as makes no difference. As good as it gets based on the information we have.

^^Yeah, I said it and I’ll say it again: Matured! Matured, matured, matured! We estimated/decided on June 13th as Roo’s birthday.

Black and white puppy sitting with head cocked to the right looking at camera with irresistibly adorable look!
Just one more …