We interrupt our irregularly scheduled programming to bring you this week-old breaking — or at least actively trying to break things — news.

Actually, it’s been a day over a week now, but 8-day-old news just doesn’t flow the way week-old does. Data has been accruing for over 6 weeks now. Or seven? Those formerly supervising the whole project affirm a startup date of March 1st … which they insist was over 7 weeks ago. The calendar confirms those folks are worse with linear time than I am. (At least in this case. Could be a pandemically exacerbated or induced chronological disorder?)

So, last week we adopted a Great Pyrenees mix puppy, after his mother’s sudden death. Nearly 3 years ago we adopted a small, black, cute but funny looking, pughuahua* at age 5.5 weeks, when her mother rejected the runt. After weaning The Artist formerly known as Super Puppy Draymond,* I declared we would never again adopt a puppy so young, but that’s exactly what we did with big, white, classically adorable Data. Apparently, we are in our puppies with mommy abandonment issues phase.

I now present Data, pronounced day-tah, like the Star Trek TNG character.** Other similarities to the fictional android: he looks white, but he’s also got a creamy, pale yellowish tint — way more attractive than it sounds. While he is friendly and wants to fit in, he is hilariously awkward. His strength and ability to take a fall are impressive. An intrepid explorer, he is generally calm, yet emotionally immature. Even when he’s being really annoying, it is impossible to not be in love with him.

We are a family of D’s: The dogs are Duke, Draymond, and Data; plus Daddy and I’m Deb. (Dogs prefer Deb to Mom. Remember those aforementioned mommy issues?) Data has already earned a few nicknames: Mr. Big, Soft Paws, Whitey Bargers [right in], Young Sheldon Chewbacca.^

For you First Contact fans: Yes, I totally feel as though I am the Borg Queen when yelling Data! in moments of urgency, such as when Mr. Big is chewing on an electrical cord or furniture or lamp or window still. Sorry, my guy, teething rings arriving soon; now, stop gnawing on the wall!

Now, for the autoimmune angle. May 31st is our eldest dog Duke’s 14th birthday. And I think Data might just help him make the party! Duke was diagnosed with Immune-Mediated Polyarthritis back in 2011. He’s had some rough spots in 2021. There are no guarantees, and while I have had more than one thought of am I healthy enough for (this) exercise, I clearly see the positive impact of Data on old man Duke’s health. On the other old man, too, minus the bite marks. And Draymond, Data’s currently same-sized play partner. And tired, but happy me. He is so soft!!^^

*Also known as Chug, Draymond is half Pug, half Chihuahua. We will celebrate her 3rd birthday May 1st. At 6 weeks I could hold her in one hand! Read about The Duchess Draymond Pugbelly’s first 3 years on her Facebook blog at MyUglyPuppy.

**Star Trek: The Next Generation — starring Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Series began with a god-like nemesis called Q, short for Q Continuum — no Anon. Q is omniscient and omnipotent and usually took the form of actor John de Lancie, across franchises. And yet again!

^ Yes, I be mixing my Starry Wars and Treks! O, forsook! Yeah, no. Like Chewie, our Data has a very unique growl. And whine. And combo. Whrowl?

^^ There is a joke to be made about hard data v. soft data, but I can feel the brain fog rolling in on big cat paws … much like our new puppy’s paws!